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Responsibility

May 3, 2016

There is so much responsibility in planning a funeral.

As my Love and I went to the funeral home to make the arrangements I realized that I am only responsible for caring about my family and what their needs are.  That made my decision very obvious to me.  This is about us.  Our loss.  Our boy.  And how we wish to send him off.

The first song we chose we did so because the lyrics are truthful.

“It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that’s not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone”

 

The next song was also an obvious choice for us.  The words of Job, who knew great loss.

 

This is where we parted company with many people.  It is about being joyful.  About it being about your day, for us that meant it was Gift’s day.

“And I’m gonna stretch so tall
In the great sky above me”

(What is less known about this video is that it was taken from a children’s show.  One that I would watch with Gift, called Nana’lan.  It was a puppet show, that had a puppet show in it.   Maybe one of my favourite kids shows ever.  I showed this to Gift and my Love not long before he died because I knew they would love it too.)

 

This is one of my all time favourite praise song.  And we were given the precious gift of the artist singing it herself.  That is love.  I don’t know if I will be able to express my deep gratitude to her for doing so.

“My soul is ready, but sometimes the flesh is weak, I sing halleluia so the rocks will not cry out…      Break the silence, loosen my tongue…. lift the weight now, so I can breathe…”

https://sarahbaetz.bandcamp.com/track/my-god

The next song.  Well, there are just too many points to explain why.  Gift brought so much colour to the world.  Just because I can’t hold him or talk to him any more doesn’t mean the colour he brought is dimmed.  In fact, it may be brighter.

 

This is the last song we sang.  While it is officially called ‘From Here I Can See’, I knew it before it really had a name, and was called Josh’s Song

“From here I can see 
all creation redeemed, Giving you Glory! 
From this moment on 
all our hearts will join the song, Giving you Glory! 

All the sinners start to sing: “Christ the Lord is our King” 
All the hungry people say: “Christ the Lord is risen today!” 
All around the world, hearts are open, graves fall open wide 
The body that was broken once again has come to life 

From here I can see 
that I have a part in this redeeming story! 
You have brought me to life, 
now it’s time for us to bring your light into the world and…”

Gift’s new, no REAL, home gives him the view in these lyrics.  Gift is seeing God face to face, giving Him Glory in person!!!  Gift has been brought to REAL life.  This world is just a shadow of what really is coming.

https://nextchurch.bandcamp.com/track/from-here-i-can-see

In addition to what we sang, there was a trumpet solo of Jesus Loves Me.  It was very moving.

I could write so much more about this.  I could write about how much I loved this funeral.  The joy, the praising, the dancing.  I could write about how some people hated it, they were expecting something sombre.  Wanting something that was not in Gift’s character.  Gift was so full of life here on this earth.  Why would we send him off with something lifeless?  We were responsible for sending off our first born, my Love’s namesake.

And really… when it all comes down to it, when we come to the end…

In the end, we dance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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