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Last Link Gone

January 7, 2016

In November my Granny died.  It wasn’t a shock or surprise, she had been unwell for a while.  But it was hard, nonetheless.  My family gathered around her bed.  Without me.  Everyone got to say their goodbyes.   I, thankfully, had done something like that the last time I saw her. My aunt said that they should have called me.  I didn’t want her to feel bad, our guilty for not calling me.  I told my aunt that I has a lovely weekend in my ignorance.  Which is very true, it was a great weekend.

But, this grandmother of mine… she was quite the woman.

While at my Granny’s house with two of my aunts they found her birth certificate.  That she had changed to make her age the same as my Grandfathers.  They married two weeks after meeting.  He has lied to her about his age.  Turns out the 40’s sucked and if you were older than your husband people may judge you.  She was not going to put up with being judged by anyone, so she changed her birth certificate.  What nerve!!

At the time there was no base housing in Nova Scotia.  Grandpa was in the Navy.   They were some of the first to move into the new apartments.  A three bedroom for Grandpa, Granny and their 7 children.  I asked her once how she did it.  How did she parent 7 children with Grandpa gone most of the time.  I was a new military wife and missing my husband greatly.  She looked out the window, laughed and said it was a wonder she didn’t throw them out the window sometimes.  Then she talked about how after the kids were in bed she would tidy up and look in at them and promise herself she wouldn’t yell at them tomorrow, but she always did.  But that she loved them so much that having Grandpa there didn’t matter, and that it was all she had known.

Then there was the fact that she got a JOB!  A married woman in the 50’s and 60’s working outside the home!!!  Grandpa was not happy, it made it look like he couldn’t support them he said.  But she was able bodied and she wanted to get the kids clothing at the store she worked at.  He relented, as she won all the battles that were  important to her.

Or the time when she went to the hospital when her leg broke.  She was stuck in a room with three other women who were not mobile.  One was being rather belligerent.  Yell and screaming curses at people.  My Granny led the other women in singing above the yells.  The belligerent woman threaten to kick my Granny’s …. to which Granny replied; ‘Well dear, I would like to see you try.’

Don’t mess with Granny.

But what I have lost in her death hurts more.  Losing her hurts, of course!  She always gave the best advice.  But what I lost was the connection to my family.  There will be no more Christmas Eve’s with the extended family at her house.  Some of my cousins have already left my life and probably will never be a part of it again.  In fact, Gifts funeral was the first time my Love met one of my cousins.  We had been together for 20 years.  I invited people back to our house after Gift’s funeral, but no family came.

These people, whom I love so deeply.  Unless I work harder will be lost from my life forever.  I don’t want that.  But I also can’t make them want to be around me.  All I can do is my best.  And pray for them.  I can pray for them.

Thank you God, for my family. Every single last one of them, my many cousins, Aunts, Uncles and all their children.  Thank you for the blessing you gave us in my Granny. Our Granny.

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