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August 18, 2015

A few days ago we ran into the police detective who lead up the coroner’s investigation.  He obviously remembered us,, but was unsure if he should say hi to us.  I suppose it is hard to run into people that you had a difficult job during the most difficult time in people’s lives.  It is an invasion of privacy, and nothing is forgotten.  This Officer had never really met our other children, who where utterly endearing, if I do say so myself.

People who I haven’t seen in a long time often ask trepidatiously how we are doing.  They are concerned that we are still grieving (openly, because we will always grieve the loss of Gift).  Or that asking will make us super sad.  I also notice that I feel obligated to still be openly grieving or super sad.  The truth is that while we are still both of those things, I am doing great.  Really great!  Once accepting this new path I can move forward and still have the best days of my life.

This week we are going away to a camp where the kids will attend VBS.  I will get to be with people who inspire me.  I will also get to hear God’s word and be challenged by it.

If I was still on the old path I would be being strangled with guild and I would be unyielding to God’s direction for my life.  I want to be clay in His hands.  I want to be able to be happy and look forward to new adventures.  I can look back on my old path from my new path and miss what I once had, but I can’t sacrifice what I do have for what I don’t.

There is still so much joy to behold!

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