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August 7, 2015

My father told me once that ‘you don’t have to go looking for life, it will find you’. He was right. Most of July was spent at a lake. It was lovely. Now August has us separated from My Love again. It’s ok. We are coming back to reality and life is catching up to me.  Coming back from vacation I feel very much like Ewen’s character in the clip; life stood still for a short time, and now I am in fast forward.  Trying to catch up.

I am trying to slow things down, but that is an impossibility. So I hold tightly to what I can. I feel overwhelmed by all the things I want to do but can’t seem to get done. I stay up too late, missing My Love, only to be too tired to do the things I love to do the next day. I know this about myself, yet I find it difficult to change.  I want to hold onto the stillness in my room, because when I leave it my time slips away from me.

I don’t have to feel stressed about time ticking on.  And I have chosen not to feel stressed about it.  God gave us 24 hours in a day.  So that is all we need.  If I can’t get everything done in one day, then I am either trying to do too much, or not using my time wisely.  Both are things I do with regularity.  I DO want to do too much!  And I do waste time when I feel drawn in too many directions.  I am terrible at budgeting my time, but not for a lack of trying.  Some days I am too hopeful, too idealistic.  Actually, that is really most days.  I want to be a blessing to so many people that I have a hard time saying no.  Or recognizing my limits.  I am slowly learning how to make life feel simpler.  I like the new pace.  I think the kids do too.

Ending our nearly month long vacation was a whirlwind trip to see Boston Red Sox play at home.  It was time poorly budgeted, and completely sleep deprived.  And so worth it to be in this place with my love:IMG_2649

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