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Hard pressed, but not crushed

August 30, 2014

A dear friend of mine has been diagnosed with clinical depression. It is very much out of character for her. But things in her life are unpredictable. She is pregnant, her husband is finishing his Ph.D. and as of yet, doesn’t have a job to go to.

I understand her feeling of being utterly overwhelmed. I feel like that every day. I cannot speak for her, because I have not been diagnosed, but I think the difference between us right now is that she feels hopeless, and I do not.

I feel heartbroken, like I have said before. But I don’t feel hopeless. I know that the sun will rise and that God is good.

I am writing this from my beloved Gift’s grave. His head stone finally in place. The golden letters in sharp contrast to the bronze. So clearly marking words I can’t speak. Or rather, I don’t want to speak.

Like depression, grief can lie to you. It can tell you that you are all alone, that no one understands. And while that is partially true, people around me still love me and want to help me through. My friends don’t want me to feel alone in this. Here is were the truth is: I am never alone because God is always with me. I do, however, walk this journey alone here. We all do. Grief is a path that we will all walk at one time or another, but how we get through it is different for every person.

I am alone, but I am not forsaken. All I need to do is cry out God is there.

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