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May 15, 2014

For my Loves birthday I took him to a concert.  It was really not great timing.  My Love is on a ‘career course’ and it is rather time consuming.  I was only able to take him because he is here in town.  Thankfully, because I bought the tickets before without thinking that he was going to be ‘away’.

It was interesting to watch people at this concert.  People kept watching the concert through their phones.  I found it amusing.  You pay all this money to experience something, but you are not really watching it.

People were so busy trying to remember the night that they were forgetting to experience it.

I am just as guilty about this as the next guy, but for different things.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to stay in the moment.  Sometimes that is easy to remember.

We are given so many opportunities that pass us by too fast.  At least too fast for our liking.  And there some that p

ass too slowly that we miss the point because we are most likely uncomfortable.

Gift’s funeral is something that I wish we had recorded.  I thought hard about staying in the moment.  So hard, in fact, that I could not tell you in what order things happened.  I experienced his funeral.  I wish I could remember it.

I now struggle with being so emotionally overwhelmed that I dont have any more tolerance for some ‘experiences’.  We have this one beautiful life and we wont ever be able to remember every moment of it.

My Love’s profession (I chose this word purposely because it not only implies his occupation, but combines his faith into what he does) takes him away from us.  He is trying to reconcile that with the guilt he has because this profession has taken him all over the world when he wanted to be here.

So much guilt.

So much missing the experience because of the guilt.

But he did things that I will never get the opportunity to do.  I wish I could, but it wont happen.

We can find joy in every moment.  In every experience.  And it is the JOY that will help us remember the moments!

Please do not confuse joy with happiness.  There is a major difference!  One is dependant  on things within your control.  The other is a place where your heart rests, no matter the circumstances.

“Our faith gives us something stronger and more powerful than despair, and that is hope.”

~my Love, at Gift’s funeral.

What a great opportunity we get each day to enjoy it and live it!   I try now to take as many opportunities as I can to just enjoy doing whatever it is that I am doing.  I have to fight against my natural desire to hide under the sheets and hide in bed all day.  But if i did that i would miss experiencing life with my great loves!

And man, these people are wonderful companions on this life experience.


1st father - daughter picture My Love and Cupcake dont look this much alike any more…. she looks shockingly like me.

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