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Wives of Faith link up

March 27, 2013
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This week’s question is:
How many deployments have you been through with your husband? What are three tips you might share with a wife about to start her first?

Although we have had several extended training periods where my Love has been away, we have only had one deployment.

I wish I could offer some really great wisdom where i can inspire others, but i really dont know.

Don’t watch the news. Just don’t do it! Ignorance truly is bliss! My dear father-in-law was making himself sick with worry by sitting and watching CNN constantly. And because i wasnt watching the news i had no idea what was happening. But when things did happen i would get an email from my Love and then promptly call my father-in-law and tell him everything is ok. I finally suggested to my mother-in-law to feed my father-in-law spicy food or something that would make him sick. The hope that he would either associate the bad feeling with CNN and stop watching it, or that he would spend all his time in the bathroom where he cant watch it. As i said to her, it is win-win! (The humour made it easier for the two of us to get through the time.)

Know the friends you can count on in an emergency. Memorize their phone numbers, and have your children memorize their numbers too, because you never know when you might need to call one of them (as in the case of being very pregnant and expecting to go into labour at any moment). And call them, even if there is no emergency. Especially when there is no emergency. Just to talk and have someone else laugh at your insanity to keep perspective.

And speaking of perspective: Do whatever it takes to make your days easier. Including letting go of your expectations of yourself and your guilt. At one point i just could not keep up with the amount of dishes my children were going through in a day. We had a lovely PMQ with a tiny, tiny kitchen. I had to give myself permission (sometimes by asking that people not judge me) to use compostable plates and bowls. Just doing that alone saved me hours a day in the kitchen doing dishes just so i could cook. And my days were easier! Whatever you need to do to make your life easier, DO IT!

Just to add a little ‘what not to do’:

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t to major renovations on your own just because you think you can, because if something could go wrong IT WILL. Big style! Don’t think you can do it all yourself, ask for help and take help when people offer it. Also, don’t move twice, once while 36 weeks pregnant, try to homeschool, have a baby and a c-section and a super bad/long recovery.

Oh wait…..

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